Aunt Carole

Aunt Carole passed away last night. She died suddenly, in her sleep it sounds like, while visiting her sister in Florida. I guess, in the overall scheme of things, it's about as peaceful as one could hope. Just too soon.

Hayden's favorite bedtime book is the scrapbook of her first year. Every time we get to the baby shower picture with Uncle Fred, Aunt Ann, Aunt Carole and Corning she points to Corning and says, "Is that Corning?" I tell her yes, and she points to the beautiful music box he gave her when she was a baby, the one with all the clowns and bears that spin and dance on separate platforms while the music plays. She says, "Corning gave me that." I tell her yes. Then she asks why we don't see him, even though she's heard the answer a thousand times. I tell her, "Because he died." She always asks where he died and I always worry about my answer. If I say "the hospital" I'm afraid she'll be scared of the hospital, but since that's the truth that's what I say. I remind her that people start their lives there and sometimes they end their lives there too. Then she always asks why he died. I always tell her it's because people don't live forever; we're born, we live and then we die. I tell her that Corning was in his 80s, which is old, and he lived a long, great life. One time she asked me if children ever die. I told her it's very, very rare, but it does happen sometimes. Then, she turns the page and we move on to other pictures; other stories. She doesn't remember Corning at all, but I think she might remember Aunt Carole, since we just saw her a few months ago and she came to the girls' events. Still, she won't have the kind of long-term memories I'd want her to have. She won't know what an energetic, happy person Aunt Carole was. To know how much she loved family and how excited she always was to see the cousins, Mike, Beth and I (and sometimes Kevin) together at the Cousins Cookout, and how she loved watching all the kids playing together; the next generation. I don't think I'll take the girls to the funeral; they wouldn't understand it and it would be a lot for me to handle. But, I do want to make sure the cousins keep getting together at least once a summer if not more. Aunt Carole always made it happen and now it's up to the next generation. I just hate that we, the next generation, are coming up in the ranks now and wonderful people like Aunt Carole are passing away. I'm going to miss her.